I was convinced that failing to follow the rules set out for me would lead only to suffering, isolation, stress, and low self-worth. I was wrong on all fronts. In fact, trying to live by these rules and notions pretty consistently led to everything I was trying to avoid.

If I’m not actively being affirmed, I am worthless. If I’m not being reassured that I have value, I must have none. There is no safe moment inside my own head except for the ones when somebody else is telling me I did a good job.